What if the Guardians formed a band?

It’s nearly time to say our farewells to the Guardians as they take off on their final mission as a crew (tissues at the ready…) but rather than dwell on that (for now) we thought we’d distract ourselves from the sads with something silly and fun.

… music! And… speculation! Huzzah.

Group image of the Guardians of the Galaxy

As you may have noticed, GOTG is all about the music. And not just the killer soundtrack, either. Our Starlord uses music from Terra (i,e. Earth) as his one remaining link to his distant human life, and as a reminder of his dearly departed mum Meredith. And there are some serious bangers in his retro-repertoire.

With that in mind, we have turned our minds to things the Guardians could do when they’re no longer taking responsibility for the galaxy. Maybe they could start a band?

Hear us out.

Peter Quill AKA Starlord (frontman)

Peter is the unquestioned leader of the Guardians, and the somewhat reluctant founder. He’s brave, he’s charismatic, and he loves being the centre of attention. He's also a pretty snappy dresser/mover… but don’t tell him that as you’ll never hear (or see) the end of it. What better role for him than frontman?

Classic rock will be his genre of preference. More opportunities for knee slides and power grabs. And the ladies will love it.

Band name suggestion: Starlord and the Guardians.

DRAX THE DESTROYER

Drax is the muscle of the group, and comes complete with an elevated sense of self-importance, and a somewhat misguided sense of humour. He doesn’t pull any punches, and loves to show off his skills. As such, he’d probably make a pretty good lead guitarist - albeit a heavy handed one prone to smashing up his guitar at the end of every successful (or unsuccessful) set, or anytime he messes up a solo.

His genre will be heavy metal, where the occasional roar of aggression and his apparent body art will be very well received.

Band name suggestion: Destroyed

GAMORA

Gamora, the love interest of Peter Quill and the group's stoic voice of reason. She holds the rest of the band together and keeps the chaos at bay with her steadiness. Never the centre of attention, but essential in every situation. What better role than the bassist?

She’s not the most creative or imaginative being, so she’d probably prefer to play pop - whether she likes the music or not.

Band name suggestion: Mean and Green

ROCKET

Rocket is very much the brains of the Guardian’s operation, and his ingenuity has gotten them all out of many sticky situations (... and probably into more still. But let’s not dwell on that.) His love of, and skill with, technology lends himself well to the decks, where he can cook up all manner of strange sounds and unique mixes to wow the masses.

Rocket gets bored easily. He won’t settle for middle-of-the-road crowd pleasers - he’ll want to play the dirtiest, most experimental EDM. Who cares if nobody else likes it?

Band name suggestion: rKt rCn

MANTIS

Having grown up in near complete isolation, the demi-god empath Mantis is incredibly naive and innocent - but that doesn’t make her sweet. Despite her apparent heart of gold, she angers easily, and is prone to making rash and often harsh decisions, sometimes at the detriment of everyone else. Because of this, she’d make an awesome synth/keys player - adding melodies, flourishes… and breakdowns.

Her genre of choice could be floaty, psychedelic synthwave, or hardcore grime. Honestly, it really depends on what mood she’s in.

Band name suggestion: Pray for Mantis

GROOT

Having grown up in near complete isolation, the demi-god empath Mantis is incredibly naive and innocent - but that doesn’t make her sweet. Despite her apparent heart of gold, she angers easily, and is Groot is a Flora Colossus - the last of his kind - a simple but strong treelike being able to extend any of his branch-and-root-like limbs to use as weapons, or tools. His versatile body, superior strength, and his ability to happily lurk around until he’s needed would make him a fantastic drummer.

Genre-wise, he’s pretty flexible. But will probably lean towards tribal or folk for more percussive opportunities.

Band name suggestion: I am Groot

It’s time to face the music. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is at Vue 3 May.

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