Valentine’s Day: the Alternative Version

No date? Hate rom-coms? You’ll LOVE this…

There’s no need for 14 February to be all pink hearts and Kate Hudsons. If you’d rather put down the flowers, pick up the popcorn and just have a damn good time with a film this Valentine’s Day, we’re here for you.

Sonic the Hedgehog

Roses are red, that hedgehog is blue, Jim Carrey’s moustache will terrify you… the year’s cheekiest gaming crossover revives Sega’s speedy, spiky hero and spins him into a hilarious chase caper, with Carrey as the eeeeeeviiiiilllll Dr Robotnik. Roll down a ring-covered hill to get a ticket.

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Birds of Prey

How to cope with a break-up: change your hair, hit the club, form an all-female vigilante posse… Margot Robbie rocks hard as Harley Quinn, split from the Joker (better off out of that one, babes) and leading the least luvvy-duvvy movie ever. But if you fancy a blast of superhero thrills, say “I Love the DCEU” and buckle up.

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Kinky Boots the Musical: Live

Alright so this is pretty heartwarming, but it’s a long way from a clichéd Valentine’s romance. Besides, we’ll tell you something we love: the chance to see live West End theatre via a live relay, right there on the big screen. In comfy seats. With crystal-clear sound. Phwoar.

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Sure, dating is good but have you tried… having strong opinions about other people’s dates? That’s very much the energy in Jane Austen’s classic novel, and in this sparkling new take on the matchmaker who has “very little intention of ever marrying at all” herself…

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Okay, OKAY, maybe you do want something totes emosh on 14 Feb, so how about this tear-stained, clay-encrusted classic of a date movie, released 30 years ago? Then again, even this isn’t your average love story: boy meets girl, boy is shot dead, boy returns as a sexy phantom who helps girl with pottery. But it was the biggest blockbuster of 1990, and that old magic’s still there.

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